The Story of Bzzzzzzzz - Lord of the String

The Story of
B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z
the Bug
(Whom We’ll Call Buzz for Short)

By Ben Avery

(A Short-Story of the Realm of Gon, created by
Ben Avery, John Kanost, and Gordon Scott)

hey called it the Weeping God. It was huge, the mass of it was more than the combined mass of the colony, if the colony could ever be persuaded to be still long enough to make the shape of a Circus Gypsy Android Plumber Minotaur. But, being as they were a swarm of the species the citizens of Gon referred to as Bugs, they were not (as bugs) inclined to stay in any one place for very long.

Until the day they found the Weeping God.

A Worker Bug named Bzzzzzzzzzz was the first to spy the Weeping God. He was buzzing along (as Worker Bugs do) on his very first journey to the world outside the Colonial Hive Nest. He found a flower, which he alighted upon and did his duty to pollinate it. He heard a strange metallic sobbing and he zipped through some bushes and into a clearing.

There it was. It was big. And it was grey. (Of course, everything Bugs look at is grey, they cannot see in color.) And it did not move. Bzzzzzzzzzz instantly decided this thing must be some sort of god, since it was so big and it had been weeping. It was a perfectly logical conclusion for him to make, since this was his first time out.

He instantly reported it to the Empress of the species, Bzz (who was actually part of a puppet regime secretly controlled by her younger sister, which I shall not go into here since Bug politics is extremely uninteresting to any endoskeletal creatures) and the Empress decreed that they were going to move the entire colony to the place of this new god (which toppled the puppet regime, for political reasons too boring and uninteresting to get into right now, or ever).

The Colonial Hive nest was dug up from the soil beneath an apple tree, and the two million Bugs that comprised the entire species of Bugs uprooted their home and carried it to the feet of the new god. The Weeping God.

The Empress smiled. In the last election the key word for her campaign was "change". She was more than a little bit worried that she would not be re-elected, considering for the last two years their had been absolutely no change in the Colonial Hive Nest. None at all. Bugs are creatures of habit. Actually, creatures are creatures of habit, excepting of course that strange race of beings called humans that cannot stand monotony.

Well, this was change. Not only had she moved the entire Colonial Have Nest, but she was also going to be instrumental in starting a new religion.

She assembled the two million of her minions. They surrounded the form of the Circus Gypsy Android Plumber Minotaur. The Empress stood on its head, between its horns and said, "I hereby declare this Weeping thing to be our god, and I name Bzzz as the high priest."

Bzzz heard his name and pushed himself through about seventy-five thousand Bugs that surrounded the Empress and accepted the honour with surprise. "I don't know what to say," he said as the Empress' servants draped a shard of a flower petal over his shoulders. She adjusted the cloak and said, "I guess first, I have to thank Bzz, for appointing me in this position. And I also must thank my parents, for creating me." There was a twitter of laughter. "What? They did! And I must thank our new, as yet, unnamed god, for, uh, doing whatever it is he does."

Bzzz then called Bz and Bzzzzzz, to the front. "I hereby name you and our new as yet unnamed religion's low priests."

They too were honoured, and quickly named a couple of their friends as even lower priests. The honour spread like wildfire, all the way down to a lowly little bug named B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z, who was named "even lower than the lowest of the other even lower priests". He did not fell as honoured as the others, however.

"Now," Bzzz declared, "we should make a sacrifice to our Weeping God."

"We should name it first," Bzzzzzz said.

"Oh, yeah. I hereby name our new god B, the Weeping God! Now, a sacrifice! We must find an adequate sacrifice!"

"What shall we get?" Bzzzzzz asked.

"Something adequate," Bzzz said.

"OK," Bz said. They quickly recruited forty thousand of the lower priests and left to find an adequate sacrifice.

"Hmm," Bzzz said. "We should maybe, uh, worship the Weeping God B."

Two million (minus forty thousand) sets of Bug eyes looked at the young, rebellious Bug. "Yeah," someone said. "He weeps not!"

"No weeping for our weeping god!"

"Hey, ain't no weeping up thar!"

"Why doesn't it weep!"

"Maybe it's not sad!"

"Mommy, I have to potty."

The Empress sensed the crowd was agreeing with the rebellious voice of dissension, but of course, it would not be prudent for me to record every statement made by every Bug regarding the rebellious Bug's statement, even minus the forty thousand Lower Priests that were looking for an adequate sacrifice. She had to get the crowd back on her side. It wouldn't look good for the Empress if they had moved their whole Colonial Nest Hive to the feet of a useless hunk of junk. It also wouldn't look good if that Bug went potty in the middle of the crowd. Bzzz was the High Priest, he should do something.

The Empress looked at her High Priest with a look that said, "I sense the crowd is agreeing with the rebellious voice of dissension, but of course, it would not be prudent for me to record every statement made by every Bug regarding the rebellious Bug's statement, even minus the forty thousand Lower Priests that were looking for an adequate sacrifice. I have to get the crowd back on my side. It wouldn't look good for me if we had moved their whole Colonial Nest Hive to the feet of a useless hunk of junk. It also wouldn't look good if that Bug went potty in the middle of the crowd. Bzzz, you're the High Priest, you should do something."

Bzzz addressed the crowd. "The bathroom is on the north side of this log!" A little Bug quickly scuttled to the north side of the log. Bzzz then turned his attention to B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z "Foolish bug," he said, "it's an idol. He's not supposed to weep! It's an inanimate object to which we give undeserved worship and sacrifice and it gives us nothing in return!"

"Oh," the young rebel said, "that makes sense, I guess."

The crowd agreed. A cheer went up. Bzzz smiled and turned to the Empress. "Can you believe today's youth? Wanting to have a genuine religious experience?"

The Empress chuckled knowingly. "You were young too, once, Bzzz."

"True. True."

B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z scratched his head, spread his wings, and took to the air. No one noticed, they were too busy cheering. And that is where we shall leave the race of Bugs, for this is not their story, it is B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z's story, except to say that almost immediately after the young rebel left, B, the Weeping God, spoke. He said, "MMMmmmmm mmmmm mm mmmmmmmmm," which roughly translated means, "Don't worship me, you stupid Bugs!"

The High Priest Bzzz, of course, did not know that was the translation, since he did not speak the language of Circus Gypsy Android Plumber Minotaur, and even if he did, he would not have understood what the Weeping God B was saying because his mouth had rusted shut.

Instead, Bzzz went on to translate "MMMmmmmm mmmmm mm mmmmmmmmm" into the Scriptures of the Weeping God, a long and highly debated tome of unintelligible gibberish.

But beyond the truth of the Bug religion, what B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z did not like was the stupidity. Why worship a weeping god that did not weep?

For that matter, why worship a weeping god at all? It made his head hurt.

He buzzed around for a little while, until he got tired and hungry. He had never realised how big of a place the world was until now. He landed on a rock to rest.

Without warning, the rock began to move. Another rock nearby was also moving. They were moving together! The Bug looked ahead, and saw that the rocks were moving toward a large body of water.

Then, one rock said to the other rock, "Dude, you've got a Bug on your back!"

The other rock stopped, and a brown head raised into the air and looked back at the Bug, who sat looking at the large face in fear.

"So there is. Hello, little bug."

"What are you doing there?"

"I'm looking for something, and I got tired so I thought I'd rest on this rock, but I guess it's not a rock because it seems to be you."

"Yeah, dude, I'm no rock. I'm a turtle. My name is Puddleglum. This is Pattertwig."

"Hi, dude," Pattertwig said. "What's your name."

"B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z," said B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z.

"Wow, dude," Puddleglum said. "That's quite a name. What were you looking for?"

"Oh," the Bug said, "I don't know. God, I guess."

"Well, you're in luck," Pattertwig said.

"Yeah," Puddleglum said.

"Know him? We are him," Pattertwig said.

"OK," the little Bug replied. "I think it's time to go."

"No, wait," Puddleglum said. "You obviously don't know much about the world."

"Dude, don't you know that the world is actually round, like a ball. It is in the middle of a vast universe, filled with other round balls."

"What's a ball?"

"It's, uh, like an orange."

"I'm color-blind."

"Or an apple."

"OK."

"Anyway, obviously this ball can't just be floating in the middle of space, so it rests on the back of a turtle."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, dude, it's on a turtle. We used to think that we were actually on a turtle, and that the soil and trees and such were actually growing on its shell. Of course, that would be one ugly turtle."

"Yeah, dude, you ever seen a mountain? We used to think those were huge shell zits. You should've seen them pop. Of course, we couldn't understand why the zit goop hardened into rock until we discovered that it wasn't zit goop at all, but molten rock."

"So anyway, our scientists eventually discovered that the world wasn't a turtle at all, but a round globe resting on a turtle."

"It was the only logical conclusion, dude."

"Yeah, dude, and the other logical conclusion is that, obviously, we turtles are gods."

"So, dude, your search is over. Here we are."

"Dude, it's on another turtle."

"And what's that one on?"

"Dude, it's on another turtle."

"And what's that one on?"

"Dude, it's on another turtle."

"And what's that one on?"

"Dude, it-- I don’t know. I never thought about it," Puddleglum said.

"It must be on another turtle, it must!" Pattertwig yelled.

"We must consult the other dudes, dude."

And with that, the little Bug barely had time to take wing before the two turtles disappeared into the water.

"Well," said B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z, "that was rather disappointing." And he was off.

The ants paid him no heed-- indeed, they seemed to ignore him. They broke off pieces of the sugar cube and left quickly. The Bug was left in silence and solitude, and he took the time to close his eyes, savour the sugar, and think about lofty ideas.

"Excuse me," an old voice asked. The Bug opened his eyes and found himself staring face to face with an old-looking ant. "Excuse me, what is your life expectancy?"

"Pardon?"

"How long are you expected to live? How long before you, pttth, die?"

"Oh, I don't know. A year. Two."

¹ Ants do not have a set calendar, they each have individual calendars. The day an ant is born is their Sunday, hence to say, "Today is Monday of my eighth week," would be to say, "Today is the second day of my eighth week."

The ant laughed joyously. "Perfect! You will be perfect! You see, I am only expected to live eight to ten weeks, and I'm on Monday¹ of my eighth week."

"So I take it you don't expect to live much longer."

"No, but you see, my race will. Follow me to my lab and I will explain."

With that the ant pinched a piece of the sugar cube off with his pinchers and scuttled away. The Bug took some of the sugar as well, and followed behind, flying.

"What is your name, young Bug?"

"Oh, that won't do. I shall call you Buzz for short."

"What a queer name! But, I can see the advantage of using it. It would definitely cut down on the length of conversations." And from that point on, he called himself Buzz. And thus, he symbolically distanced himself from his race, after he had already literally distanced himself from his race.

Soon, they came to a dusty old hole, and the ant crawled inside. Buzz followed.

"This is my laboratory. It is a bastion of scientific discovery, and I am on the verge of discovering the secret to immortality and the meaning of life."

Buzz smiled. "Ooo, good. I've been looking for that."

"What?"

"The meaning of life thing."

"Well, here it is. But the problem is, I barely have enough time to finish my experiment before I die. This scientific information has been passed down to me from many generations of scientists and we only have started doing this two years ago."

"That would be a problem."

"Yes, but we solved it thus: The scientist passes on all his knowledge to the next generation. The first two weeks of a scientist ant's life is learning the science. The middle six weeks are spent actually experimenting, and the last two weeks are spent teaching the next generation. And the system has worked just fine, except one thing."

"What's that?"

"My pupil got stepped on by some stupid Knobbit that was singing some song about cracking plates and stepping on fat. Well, he didn't step on any fat, but he sure did do a number on my student when he stepped on him, poor old chap."

"Oh. So what do you want me to do?"

"Since you have such a long lifespan, you can continue my work. You see, our first and foremost problem is lifespan. If we ants could just live longer, we'd be able to accomplish much more, and we'd have some leisure time instead of being busy like a bee our entire life!"

"But I've never..."

² No matter what day an ant dies on, it is called their final Saturday, even if they die on their first Sunday.

"If we start now, we’ll have just enough time before I reach my final Saturday² for me to pass my knowledge on to you. IF we start now!"

"OK, I guess."

The ant scurried over to a leaf in the corner of the room. He pulled it away and revealed a machine made of glass, twigs, tree sap, and hair. Juices flowed from one glass vial to another, electricity coursed from hair to hair. It was very impressive to Buzz.

"Wow," Buzz said, "that's very impressive."

"Yes. Let me tell you how it works. I commission worker ants to make the glass from sand and form it into whatever shape I need and then I oh crap I'm having a thorax attack..."

And the ant rolled over, dead.

"Also disappointing," Buzz said, and flew through the tunnels to alert the proper authorities. He found the queen and told her of the predicament.

"Nuts, that's the third time we've had to start over. I started this eight years ago..."

"I thought your life expectancy was eight to ten weeks."

"Not the queen, dear. I live up to twenty years, but I'd like to live more."

"Then why don't you do the research yourself?"

"Honey, you obviously don't know much about royalty."

Buzz agreed and left, more confused than ever.

He spent the night that night in an abandoned old beehive. It was already very late and very, very dark when he found it, but being as he didn't hear any of the usual buzzing, he decided to sleep there.

In the morning, he began to fly again, and he flew until he was racked by hunger pangs. Since being racked by hunger pangs is somewhat unpleasant, he decided to look for food.

He found it in the form of a group of people eating a picnic of some sort. He waited for them to finish eating and leave, then he descended on the leftover crumbs and feasted. Of course, he was not the only one.

Joining him were three wolfmites, two gnats, a moth, and a group of lice. None of them said so much as a word to him, and he returned the favor.

After eating, he continued on his quest when it struck him.

What the heck was he looking for, anyway? God? The meaning of life? Those were pretty broad things to be looking for. He decided to scale down. Perhaps if simply looked for God, the answer to the meaning of life would follow.

He liked that plan, but where to look?

Eventually, he came upon a rubbertree plant. He swooped down to the ground and rested in its shade, eventually falling asleep.

"Hey," a voice said, "move it!"

He groggily opened his eyes. There was a small fire ant in from of him.

"Move it or I'll bite ya!"

Buzz spread his wings and flew to a rubbertree leaf.

"No, you don't understand! Get away from the plant!"

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm gonna move it, moron!"

"Everybody knows an ant can't move a rubbertree pant!"

"Listen, punk, I got high hopes. That's all I need!"

"High hopes? As in faith?"

"Yeah."

"As in faith in God?"

"No, moron, as in faith in the spirit of ants. Us ants can do whatever we put our minds to."

"Whatever," Buzz said. "I'm looking for God, you see."

"Well, you ain't gonna find him here. If he exists, what'd he be doing helping me move a rubbertree plant, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Darn tootin' I'm right! If there is some sort of all-powerful being that's powerful enough to create this forest, and that's a pretty big if, then that's pretty arrogant of you or me to think he might be concerned with little bugs like us."

"Well, I hadn't thought of it that way, but then again, I'm only three weeks old, I really haven't had time to think of it at all yet."

"Well, when get as old as me-- and believe me you, you won't look as good as me when you're on your seventh Monday-- you get wise to the ways of the world. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to move this rubbertree plant."

Buzz thanked the nice ant and flew away.

He had to admit, the ant made sense. He didn't want to admit it, but he had to. And that made him not too happy.

"LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT BELOW! I’M FALLING!!!"

Buzz looked into the sky quickly, trying to see who had screamed the warning. The sun blinded him.

A huge dark blur shot toward him. He raised his arms in front of his face.

The blur came closer.

He felt a thud, as the dark blur rammed into him and he plummeted to the earth with it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the blur screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Buzz screamed.

They hit the ground, hard.

Buzz opened his eyes and stared into the huge cavern of a bird's beak.

All went black.

"Hey, you OK?"

Buzz shook his head and opened his eyes. The cavern of the bird beak was talking to him. "Huh? Please don't eat me."

"Don't worry, I don't eat Bugs. They give me heartburn. I generally eat ants, although I love a nice, juicy caterpillar every once in a while. Mmmm."

Buzz tried to stand, but fell over. "Uh-huh, yeah, well thank you for not finding my species appetizing."

The bird looked at Buzz quizzically. "Hey, it's the circle of life, man. I didn't make it. Anyway, are you OK? You seem to be pretty stunned."

Buzz tried to stand. It was a little more successful this time. "Yeah, I'm OK. There are advantages to having an exoskeleton, but one of the disadvantages is that your insides get mixed up pretty easy."

"You need to take it slow, don't push yourself. Take your time. What's your name?"

"My name's Joy."

"You're a sparrow, eh?"

The bird smiled. Or rather, the bird gave what passed for a smile in the beaked creature's culture. "Yes, I am. And you are a Bug, which leads me to my next question. What are you doing out here? Bugs have more of a hive mentality than any other species. I've never seen just one Bug out by itself."

"Yeah, well, I'm on a quest. Or rather, I was." Buzz stood. He stayed standing this time.

"What do you mean, Buzz?"

"Well, I was kinda looking for God."

"God?"

"Yeah, but I realise now that it would be stupid for me to look for him, because even if he did exist, he created this whole forest. Why would he care about me?"

"Honey," Joy said, "the world's a lot bigger than this forest. For that matter, the world's a lot bigger than this world!"

"Sorry, you lost me."

"Fine, let's just leave it at the world's a lot bigger than just this forest."

"Yeah, I know. The turtles. They're stacked up under some apple, but..."

"Buzz, dear, what in the world are you talking about?"

"That's just it. I don't know!"

"Well, I happen to know that your quest is not stupid. You can find God."

"Where? Are you God? Do you have special knowledge of the meaning of life? That's pretty arrogant."

"No. Listen, I get around, and I've seen a lot of this world. I can't believe that it just sprang into existence. It's to complex, too beautiful."

"What about the turtles?"

"Hey, they may be right. I don't know, but even if the world is round and it is resting on the back of a stack of infinite turtles, someone created it."

"But..."

"Let me finish, child. Didn't your momma ever tell you not to interrupt?"

"Listen, when your mother is also the mother of two million other kids, there isn't much time for individual instruction."

"Good point. But let me finish. God is real, just look around you and you'll see him. But, here's the thing. I've been watching humans. Many of them believe that there is no God, but many of them do believe in him. They pay homage to him and pray to him, and he actually takes care of them! I've seen it happen. I had a nest near a human chickling's window. She grew ill and the adult's wept and wailed. But they asked God to heal her, and the next day the girl was up and about as if nothing had ever happened.

"The humans meet together to talk to God and to sing to him. Mind you, their singing is nothing compared to the worst sparrow's song. Their faces are sombre and they show no joy and that bothers me. I mean, the creator of this world, of you and of me, and the rock and the tree, this whole world, cares about them, and they really don't show much gratitude.

"All I can say is this. If his eye is on the humans, then I know he's watching me. I wrote a song about it, I sing it to my children at night."

Buzz did not speak, even though Joy had stopped talking and if he were to speak he would not be interrupting. He looked up at the bird.

The bird looked down at him. "Are you going to be OK?" Joy asked.

"Uh, yeah. My insides have sorted themselves out. That's the advantage to an exoskeleton. I don't have all the working parts and stuff, it's just kinda juicy."

"Pretty amazing, eh?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Joy hopped a couple of hops away. "I have to leave now. I'm looking for a caterpillar for my kids. It's their fortnight hatching anniversary. I'd offer to let you come with me, but I'm afraid one of my chicklings would eat you."

"OK. Uh, thanks, Joy."

"No problem, child. No problem at all."

Joy spread her wings and took off. She stopped at a nearby branch. "Buzz, if you seek, you'll find." She flew away.

Buzz did the same.

He was even more confused than before, but at least this time he was happily confused. Almost a joyful confusion.

Buzz found the clearing where the Bugs had found the Weeping God. The Weeping God was not there.

"Hello, Empress." He looked at the log where the Weeping God had sat. "Where did the Weeping God go?"

"Well, after speaking to us and giving us his words of wisdom, he got up and left."

"Just like that?"

The Empress shrugged. "Yeah, just like that. He didn't even shed a tear for us. You'd think the Weeping God would at least cry after leaving his worshippers. So, where have you been?"

"I was looking for God."

"Well, he headed west with some human and..."

"No, not that thing. God, the real God."

"Oh, that God."

"Yes."

"Did you find him?"

Buzz smiled. "Yes, I did."

"Really, where was he? Tell me, so I can have the Worker Bugs dig up the Colonial Hive Nest and we can go there."

Buzz's smile grew. "It's not that easy, Empress Bzz."

Just then, High priest Bzzz buzzed over. "Well, where have you been? You left poor B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z to do the duties of the even lower than the lowest of the other even lower priests!"

"Sorry, sir."

"Bzzz," the Empress said, "this little guy says he found God."

"Oh, good, I was worried that I was out of a job. Ever since the Weeping God left I haven't had much to do around here."

Buzz shook his head. This wasn't going to be easy. "It's not like that, sir."

"What do you mean? Where is the Weeping God?"

"I don't know."

"Bzzz, you fool, he found the real God."

Bzzz's pinchers dropped open in shock. "Are you sure?"

Buzz nodded. "Yes. You see, I met this sparrow, and she told me that if I seek, I would find. It's true. If you are seeking a Weeping God or something like that, you'll find it. If you seek a powerful species life-force, you'll find that. If you seek an apple (or whatever) sitting on top of a bunch of turtles, you'll find that. Of course, none of those will do anything for you, any more than the Weeping God did."

The Empress said, "But the Weeping God up and left."

"Exactly. But, if you seek the truth, if you seek the one true God, you will find Him."

Bzzz laughed, "That's too easy. It's insane."

"Bzzz, shut up. Tell me more, young one. You have my interest."

And that is the story of how little Buzz searched for God and found Him.

Buzz grew to the ripe old age of two and a half. When he died, he was given the biggest funeral ever given to a Bug (and, it might be added, the only Bug funeral ever to have a sparrow in attendance). On his tombstone was written the inscription:

Here Lies
B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z

Or Buzz, as he was known to creatures that didn't have the patience to call him
B z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z.

He sought God...

And next to his tombstone was another tombstone, because the first tombstone was too small, which continued:

And God found Him.

FIN

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